#168 4 Tasks of Mourning

            The four tasks of mourning or grief are the things that someone is likely to go through after someone close to them passes away. The tasks may come in any particular order as the individual journeys toward healing. Healing happens “gradually as grievers address these tasks, in no specific order, going back and forth from one to another over time” (OUR HOUSE Grief Support Center, n.d.).

            A theological perspective on Worden’s four goals shifts the goal from phycological to theological. The Bible shows us in Ecclesiastes 3:1-4 that there is a mourning process. Yet 1 Thessalonians 4:13 indicates to Christians that we do have hope in Christ and therefore mourning ought to have an end. In task two we see God step in Psalm 34:18 (NASB) “The LORD is near to the brokenhearted.” While the physical process looks the same in either case, the Christian is benefited by God as the ultimate counselor rather than being stuck with us. IT is our place in the process to point people towards God.

            I don’t find any of these tasks to be against Scripture. Yet I think they may limit the natural breadth of human experience and Biblical expression. Because if we search out these different tasks we can miss other information that is being shared with us. I may be wrong, but is it not better to have many responses to pain in the Bible than to have a stronger understanding of pain? Albeit we should try to have both. 

Which task would be the most challenging and why? 

            Grief includes mourning “not only for the actual person you lost, but also for the hopes, dreams and unfulfilled expectations you held for and with that person, and for the unmet needs because of the death” ​​(Wright, 2011, p. 106). While step four seems to be the most challenging to me. When identity and meaning are wrapped up in an individual, losing that person can strip away meaning and control from your life. My grandpa who helped raise me died ten years ago and I am still not sure that I have gone through this step. 

OUR HOUSE Grief Support Center. (n.d.). Worden’s four tasks of mourning. OUR HOUSE Grief Support Center. https://www.ourhouse-grief.org/grief-pages/grieving-adults/four-tasks-of-mourning/

Wright, H. N. (2011). The complete guide to crisis & trauma counseling: What to do and say when it matters most! Regal.