#133 Book Review: Family To Family
SUMMARY
Family To Family is a book by Jerry Pipes and Victor Lee. The book is an invitation to make the experience of having a family more meaningful. The book covers subjects such as what a healthy family looks like, developing a family mission statement, and expanding the family ministry into the world. A large portion of the book is devoted to teaching the importance of having a family mission statement. As well as how to formulate a family mission statement yourself. There is even a section on bringing children into the process.
STRENGTHS
Family To Family covers an often overlooked topic among Christians. Many Christians focus solely on their own relationship with God that they overlook the other relationships in their lives. Even among those in seminary the temptation might be to see what they need to learn themselves and teach others while accidentally leaving behind the family unit in the process. Family To Family bridges this gap helping Christians to be more intentional about their family relationships and to develop family goals. Chapters four and five were especially impactful to me as they demonstrate how the familial ministry may expand out into the world and into the Church.
WEAKNESSES
Pipes and Lee start many ideas of what a healthy family is. Yet these ideas are often underdeveloped and lack a Biblical foundation. Which makes many of the ideas speculative. For example on pages sixteen to nineteen we find that there are seven realities of experiencing God. Five of those realities receive glossary treatment. Reality five says (Family To Family 17), “God’s invitation for your family to work with Him always leads to a crisis of belief that requires faith and action.” While this claim may be true there is no Biblical backing and they barely go into any detail what what they might mean by this inflammatory statement. This sort of unevenness of detail and foundation is seen throughout the book making it challenging to discern what is conjecture and what is well founded.
QUOTATIONS
“This family has fallen victim to the American culture” (Family To Family 5) This stuck out to me as many Americans don’t realize that American culture is not always good for their family.
“A family mission statement is a way for a healthy family to make Christ’s priorities its priorities” (Family To Family 25) This ought to be the goal of all Christian families. Yet what I have observed in my own life is that most families do not have a mission statement or keep Christ’s goals in mind at all.
“Healthy families pass the baton of faith in Christ on to the next generation. It is not the church’s sole responsibility—or anyone else’s—to win your children to Christ and mentor them spiritually; it is yours” (Family To Family 43) This same thing may also be said of your children's morals, and education. I have been considering for some time what I want to pass on to my children for some time. The values and beliefs that I want to instill in my children. And in another way, how my values apply towards my parents and the way I want my children to treat me.
“Healthy families spend quantity and quality time around God’s purposes” (Family To Family 69) This is something our family does well right now, that will become harder in the future. Right now, we do missionary work with YWAM together, attend church as a family two-three times a week, read the Bible together daily, and often talk about God. Yet this next year I am joining the military as a chaplain and we will have less time to prioritize God’s purposes as a family.
“it is important that you prepare yourself to effectively communicate how a person can receive Jesus Christ as Savior” (Family To Family 101) This is of vital importance. I am presently taking Apologetics and Evangelism courses. It has struck me that I am a lifelong Christian who has shared his faith, who went to Bible college, and seminary, yet I still find it a challenge to effectively communicate why to believe. How much harder will it be for my young children.
“Ministry evangelism was a priority to Jesus” (Family To Family 70) Evangelism should be important to our family. The challenge of course is who, when, and where. Those are the questions our family has struggled to answer.
“Pass on your faith by the lifestyle you live” (Family To Family 57) This is something I have been thinking a lot about. I want my children to have a good childhood and to grow up knowing how to live a good life. Yet to do that my wife and I have to figure it out.
“Jesus set the example for “being there.” He asked the disciples to join Him, then took them everywhere He went for three years” (Family To Family 53) Being there is quite important. My children see me lift weight and that causes them to want to do the same. What we do is what our children want to do too.
“What are your family’s priorities? Which ones are really big priorities? Do they get the time they deserve in your family’s hectic schedule? Are they consistent with the Word of God?” (Family To Family 39) Relationship to God, and education are the top priorities of my family. We see it in the choices we make, how we use our time, and how we spend money.
“Making disciples is the second element. This means much more than leading people to conversion; it means training them how to live as Christ lived, to walk with Him” (Family To Family 29) I recently started doing premarital counseling for couples and it has been one of the more enjoyable experiences of my life to see how God can work through me to change lives.
LESSONS
Relationship with Christ should be the central priority of a Christian family. As a parent the most important thing I can pass on to them is a relationship with God. I will make many mistakes as a parent. Yet if our family is oriented around Christ then there is a standard for conduct to work towards. It makes it easier to recognize mistakes and move past them.
The next most important priority should be to help your children to get to know Christ. When our children know Christ our mistakes become less relevant. Our children will grow up and we will die. Yet if we pass on a relationship with God to them that will be there long past us.
There is a difference between American culture and a good family. This is something that I have known, yet we all have our biases from television and our personal experience. These examples though should be secondary to what we find in the Bible.
Passing the baton means leading by example. I am teaching my children to pray at meals, and before bed, to read their Bibles daily, to show grace to others, to forgive, and the difference between right and wrong. These are not just to do myself but rather to guide my children in.
Bibliography
Pipes, Jerry and Victor Lee. Family to Family, Families Making a Difference. Lawrenceville, GA: Jerry Pipes Productions, 1999.
